The Ballad of the Anonymous Explorer
Long, long ago on a planet, far, far away, a rag-tag group of explorers discovered valuable gems beneath the surface of the planet. The explorers could barely walk without stumbling over a protruding gem. “Stub a toe and find a gem”, they gleefully cried. The explorers were happy and spent much of their free time exploring the planet and enjoying the company of their fellow explorers. This was a time of love and general ‘hippiness’.
As time went on, the gems closer to the surface were exhausted and the explorers had to use their hands to scrabble into the hard soil in search of the gems. Those who had accumulated many gems retired to Alpha-9 (also known as the ‘playboy’ planet as 99.9% of the inhabitants of this planet were beautiful, 19-year-old virgins). Those who were frivolous with their gems (or greedy, some were just plain greedy) had to develop tools to help them get even deeper into the surface. These tools were, of course, of great value and the researchers separated into cabals which shared the same tools. The cabals hated each other but they at least understood that which drove them. This was the time of greed and vendettas.
As time went even further on, the tools which extracted the gems became free to all and many, many more explorers were seen taking the shuttle to this now-desolate planet. These new explorers were without cabal affiliation and were seen as immoral renegades. Some explorers paid a ransom and were taken under the wing of a particular cabal – Most perished. This time was dubbed ‘the great explorer genocide’ or ‘The Civil war of our discontent’ (by the more romantic explorer-historians).
In the end times, a few new cabals decided to pay each explorer for the gems that they discovered. In this way, explorers did not have to any longer associate with a particular cabal. Gems were harvested at an incredible rate and the newer (smarter) cabals grew in power and influence. One of the older cabals, understandably perturbed, created a blog and whine about it daily.
This is the part of the story where a hero steps in, or Peace descends on the valley…or, some crap like that. Not in this story. This story ends with the explorers tearing each other to shreds, killing each other in droves, until a large governing body of Explorers steps in and banishes all the greedy explorers to Alpha-2 (also known as the ‘buggery’ planet…for all the obvious reasons).