Signs of the (end) times …

Rev. 6:6, OCD [1]

“Then it was as if I heard a voice saying: And they shalt go into the storehouses, and look there for the snack foods made from corn [2] which the hands of men have made into hollow cones or cornets [3].  And they shall go unto the Save-On, and unto the Shoppers Drug Mart, and unto the Safeway, and even unto the Zellers, which is the store of last resort when old stock is being cleared out.  And they shall find them not.  And, having no proper snack foods for the parties of the new year, the new year shall come not, and thus shall be the end of times.”

[1] Old Canadian Deviant translation, as opposed to the New American Standard

[2] Some ancient manuscripts add: “And this is not that barelycorn which was known even in Ur of the Chaldees, but that which came from the land newly found by him who gave his name unto a seventies TV detective show, but of whom we may not, at this time, speak”

[3] Scholars debate the meaning of this word.  Most believe that it is simply a reference to “little objects made from corn.”  However, some feel that it is similar to the word for “trumpets,” or, possibly “bugles.”